Prison Break ~one human happiness~

falling just like a single strand of hair
     in this world
where horizon lines are like prison bars
where we cannot help but see the same stars
together, we bend their definitions
expanding what it means to be alive
     we heard them say
She would not force his judgments onto you
So we promised to start living what’s true
And slipping into this borderless dream
I had a taste of joy in fantasy
     from day one I kept
Reaching for your hand though you could not take it
Well, without a band I could not shake it
I saw the universe without boundaries
As it was still reflected in your eyes
     and in the end I knew
that even if the world still hated you
we would get the payment that we were due
exchanged in one human happiness, this
time, we’d have all that we needed again
     so one day in the near future
you can be who and what you want to be
and you won’t have to look far to find me
I know that right now it’s far-fetched, but I

Last Dawn

at the edge of eternal night,   
at the end of a sparrow’s flight,
I’ll be waiting, waiting for you.
playing
chasing
talking
wading
we’re burning in the light of day,
living our lives without a say,
still struggling to find the way
but at the edge of “come what may,”
I’ll be waiting, waiting for you.
as if we could understand our own reflections
our own shadows beneath our feet
our bodies laying in the street
well they never, never saw us.
and if they never saw us,
what could we have done?
turning towards a future we cannot grasp,
putting our destinies on silent timelapse,
we chase the dreams we never had –
and when we wake up and open our eyes,
there I’ll be waiting, waiting for you.

For my dear friend D. Happy Birthday. I’ll see you someday.

I’ll See You Again

I’ll see you again…

the world spins and spins and spins
watching the turnover of seasons,
I can’t read the flow of time
but you knew I never could
and now

to sprout and bloom and die,
maybe this too is our life
I watched you change colors like the leaves
before you fell into the white snow
so it’s not too far off, is it?

sinking to the earth,
you gave me new life
and then returned to the stars above
you always belonged there, you know
maybe I’ll follow you someday

watching over a flower as it slowly dies,
this kind of feeling is so painful
would I do it again given the chance?
I still don’t know the answer
but there was never a point in that

heat flows in through the autumn winds
pulled along by the season’s change, I think
let’s play a game of catch today
this tragic yet beautiful world you passed on to me,
I’ll throw it back at you again!

wherever you are
whoever you are
get ready to catch it,
‘cause I’ll find you
I’ll see you again!

ride the barrier with me ~one day, freedom~

gazing at you through the veil of my laughter,
I can’t help but think that you’re beautiful…
I wish you could see and believe it, too

spending time with you, I’m so happy
I’m so glad I’m alive
if I have the power to make you happy, even a little,
isn’t it more than responsibility?

just tell me, who says we can’t love each other?
riding the barrier to freedom, we are
we’re not hurting anyone but ourselves
this doesn’t concern anyone else
and they can’t control love, can they?

spending time with you, I’m so happy
I’m so glad I’m alive
if I have the power to make you happy, even a little,
isn’t it more than responsibility?
I love you…

but what a stupid word that is!
four letters to contain all of the feelings in the world,
it’s absolutely laughable
maybe in another language I wouldn’t hate it so much
but we’re all humans after all
so I guess I shouldn’t ramp up my expectations?

spending time with you, I’m so happy
I’m so glad I’m alive
if I have the power to make you happy, even a little,
isn’t it more than responsibility?
I love you…
someday, the world will understand me

I want to embrace you and hold your hand,
please believe it
how beautiful you are to me
anyone who says you’re worthless or ugly or stupid
just doesn’t have the strength to see,
the imagination to feel,
the will to give you love

spending time with you, I’m so happy
I’m so glad I’m alive
if I have the power to make you happy, even a little,
isn’t it more than responsibility?
I love you…
someday, the world will understand me
and we can live as we were meant to be.

disappearing

as time moves past ruthlessly,
your feelings drown in the silence
staring out the window into the night,
I can’t even form a thought

this world is too difficult
this life too hard to bear
you don’t understand
how your words can hurt me…

just looking for an escape,
but too scared to really do it
I look out towards a future that
it doesn’t even exist

please just stop talking…
I can’t hear you right now
but you’re blind to my emotions
just as I am to yours

maybe I’m being unfair
maybe I’m being inconsiderate
if I’m the one who’s in the wrong
just take me, please…

if I could vanish from this world,
whenever I please,
without hurting you…
I’d do it in a heartbeat, but…

only then will I see you again

I asked you your age, that day long ago
you laughed gently as you told me
“I’ll have you for all my years here,” I said with relief
but neither of us could have known…

young and naive, I may have been
but our inability to see the future,
what we shared was not innocence…
was it?

you spent so much time with me,
gave me so much of your love
your words became my reasons to live
but I… I never deserved you, did I?

I could barely pay attention, I was so careless
I offered to trade places without meaning it
but still for years you saw in me
something I never saw in myself

the slow lapse into silence that time
and the sudden lack of answers
“here we go again,” I thought
the solitude was still familiar

I learned to count the birthdays,
the ones I spent without you
but as the years passed alone I decided
“it won’t have been in vain”

picking up the pieces as I walk,
my new goal becomes clear –
I will make myself worthy of everything you gave me
and then,
only then,
will I see you again.

the dream you left behind

“I’ll run to the top, you just watch!”
such passionate words you said to me
I could see it all, your eyes burning,
your mind working

you would have made it, I know
I believe that even now
you charged to the front with so much strength
but…

the dream you carried day after day
grasping it tightly in your arms
I thought you’d never let it go,
but you did on that night…
that night when you returned to the stars
and left the world behind.

you saw things I could never see
I couldn’t match your passion
as you turned your dreams to reality
what could I do but follow?

you tore across the world and made it your own
so determined, so diligent, so loving
comparing yourself only to yourself,
you ran for a finish line no one else could see

and then…

the dream you carried day after day
hauling it upon your back
I thought you’d never let it go,
but you did on that night…
that night when you returned to the stars
and left the world behind.

I thought nothing could ever stop you
and I guess in a way I was right
but I never could have seen in my wildest dreams
that you’d stop yourself some day

you loved the world too much, I thought
so desperate to make it better
how could you have given up,
when you knew how badly we needed you?

the dream you carried day after day
chasing after it even when blind
I thought you’d never let it go,
but you did on that night…
that night when you returned to the stars
and left the world behind.

maybe the dream was never yours,
maybe it was mine…
“did you ever truly exist?”
I wonder this sometimes

if I made it up in my head,
at least I know what for
hear out my promise, please
if my voice reaches you out there

moving towards our lone future,
I’ll run to the front, you’ll see
I’ll carry the dream you left behind
so that one day, someday…

guardian spirit ~close your eyes~

responsible, I’m always responsible
for our life, don’t you know?
awake beneath a waning moon, the seconds ticking by
I yawn and smile over you

close your eyes, love
just take it easy now
let your fears melt into the darkness
‘cause I’m watching over you tonight

take my hand if you’re scared
let’s fight your demons now!
it’s nothing but an illusion
so break free, just look at me

looking over your shoulder, I
I’ll see you to tomorrow
it’s us that’s on the line, can’t you see?
it’s not just “you and me”

you’re afraid, I know
you think you can’t bear it
but I’ll show you, let me show you
what you can really do, let’s go!

so close your eyes, love
just take it easy now
let your fears melt into the darkness
‘cause I’m watching over you tonight

daydreams and nightmares, spirits and gods
don’t try to fool me, come on!
I know what you’re really afraid of
you think you could lie to me?

there’s nothing you can hide
‘cause I understand you more than anyone
so let me take a guess right now
humanity and life, how close am I to right?

answer me with silence
that’s fine, I’ll still be here
I’ll tear your ghosts apart every night
we’ll never be alone

so close your eyes, love
take it easy now
let your fears melt into the darkness
‘cause I’m watching over you tonight

I’m watching over you…

lost in time

fourteen, sixteen, eighteen, twenty…
eyes closed I count the years
moving forward endlessly, I think
I can’t escape the tide

so tired, I never planned for this
how much longer am I stuck here?
what do I do until it’s over?
I can’t fight it anymore, but…

“you won’t live to see that day”
so I walked without a future
it was an absolute certainty, can’t you see?
a destiny I kept to myself

but look, I’m here, I’m here
I’ve reached the impossible
I could never imagine this life
and now…

this was never supposed to exist, this day
I was never supposed to be here
the gods, the spirits, they made a mistake
they didn’t take me…

this thing called “future” I don’t know what to do with
where do I go from here?
marking off my extra days
the calendar on the wall watches silently

so empty…
this world I knew I would leave
I can’t stay, I won’t stay
but I have to stay someday

a watery planet with no land, no stars
I float along in the sea
I can’t even drown, what a rule!
and no sunsets or seasons, so this time…

“you won’t live to see that day”
so I walked without a future
it was an absolute certainty, can’t you see?
a destiny I kept to myself

but look, I’m here, I’m here
I’ve reached the impossible
I could never imagine this life
and now…

and now…

the memories we made ~flight from eternity~

“this doesn’t happen in real life…”
the words you whispered that night were heartbreaking
all I wanted was to make your dreams come true
but I couldn’t change the world for you

you smiled at me bitterly, eyes shimmering with tears
I was desperate to take your pain away
what kind of life must we live?
are we not allowed to be happy?

not knowing which one of us will go first,
I gaze intently into your eyes…
the memories we make,
the dreams we chase,
I can’t let myself forget them
no matter how far from eternity I fly

every second we now spend together
I grasp it tightly in my hands
“soon, this will all be over…”
with these thoughts running through my mind

the world is changing, and we change with it
but I can’t let these moments fade
the times you smile and laugh with me, the jokes we make and retell endlessly
I hold them to my chest, crying happily

not knowing which one of us will go first,
I gaze intently into your eyes…
the memories we make,
the dreams we chase,
I can’t let myself forget them
no matter how far from eternity I fly

can we believe in an impossible world?
I can’t live without it…
I take your hand, full of hope
And create new laughter with you again

playing games like the children we were
we move forward day by day
a rope, a pool, a closet hanger, a rainbow
still haunted, we gather ourselves and smile

not knowing which one of us will go first,
I gaze intently into your eyes…
the memories we make,
the dreams we chase,
I can’t let myself forget them
no matter how far from eternity I fly