Entry #16 – Chasing Time, and Birthdays

Hi everyone, Kohaku here. I hope you all had a great week.

I’m tired and writing quickly, so please excuse this short post and any English errors! I know I haven’t been putting out a lot of good quality stuff lately – or at least I’m not super proud of most of my recent posts – but I hope you’ll believe me when I say I have a lot of exciting plans for my future work! I just have to find the time to actually do that work, and it seems like time has run away from me lately.

At least it has run away to good things. A lot of the stuff I’m doing in my personal life right now is providing me with creative ideas, so hopefully once I have some time to sit down and work at it, I’ll produce some writings I can be proud of. Right now I’m just trying to make at least one high-quality post per week. I wrote Last Dawn a few days ago, have you all read it? It was for a dear friend’s birthday. He really means a lot to me and I’m glad the poem turned out well.

We’re one year older now… and this year is almost over. It’s rather crazy, but as they say, time flies. I’ll do my best to chase it and maybe one day in the future I’ll catch up. For now, I just want to make sure I’m doing the best I can. With everything.

This week, think about where you are in relation to time. Are you living in the present, fully content with where and who you are? Are you chasing after your future, your dreams and aspirations, things that might not come to be but are worth chasing anyway? Or are you living in the future? Sometimes, we need to take a deep breath and put on the brakes. If you’ve gotten ahead of yourself, think about that. I get ahead of myself a lot.

Anyhow, take care. Don’t forget to smile.

KT

Last Dawn

at the edge of eternal night,   
at the end of a sparrow’s flight,
I’ll be waiting, waiting for you.
playing
chasing
talking
wading
we’re burning in the light of day,
living our lives without a say,
still struggling to find the way
but at the edge of “come what may,”
I’ll be waiting, waiting for you.
as if we could understand our own reflections
our own shadows beneath our feet
our bodies laying in the street
well they never, never saw us.
and if they never saw us,
what could we have done?
turning towards a future we cannot grasp,
putting our destinies on silent timelapse,
we chase the dreams we never had –
and when we wake up and open our eyes,
there I’ll be waiting, waiting for you.

For my dear friend D. Happy Birthday. I’ll see you someday.

手紙

Photo by John-Mark Smith on Pexels.com

Dear ◯◯、

If you are reading this, can you tell me?

If you’re alive, will you send me a sign?

Today is your birthday

Again, this year

I have passed many of your birthdays

Without you.

I will play music for you, today

Will you please listen?

From wherever you are

Whoever you are

I hope the sounds of the piano will reach you

And maybe the sound of my voice

Or yours

Are you still sick?

Are you happy?

You made me happy

When I was feeling depressed

And couldn’t name it

I wish you had someone

Who could make you happy too

All I can do now

Is play music

And remember you

How long has it been?

Every year I feel regret

Around this time

You have taught me

Not to make such regrets

Have I grown since then?

If you have returned to the stars

Or not

Do you still remember me?

It doesn’t matter so much

I’m still alive, after all

I just want you to be happy

At least today

On your birthday

Can you feel it?

Time is slowing down for you

So that you can smile again

Today

Someday.

From 〇〇

August 2019

On the Edge of Another World

Waiting in the shadows for a new world to be born,
We look back at the promises we’d once sworn;
Still holding the thoughts that we chose then to confide,
We watch the years pass and grow older side-by-side.

The memories we shared, the dreams we chased,
And all of the challenges that we each faced –
Today, on your birthday, they are tangible and strong,
As we turn towards a future where we both belong.

As the waves crawl in to a Malaysian shore,
We strain in silence for something more –
Seeking a happiness that was taken away,
Hoping that together we’ll reach it someday.

And if you must burn bridges for the life that you need,
That I will stand by you is still guaranteed –
For although human beings must live their lives alone,
Those we call “family” together face the unknown.

Happy Birthday!


For my cousin C… lots of love. Someday, the world will treat you right… and until then, keep on smiling.

Another Year Has Gone…

Over the mountains and under the sea,
A thunderous world stares back at me;
Threads of time slip by unnoticed,
And pass through my fingers to yours.

Today, you are seventeen,
A beautiful soul just beginning to dream;
But what now, what next,
Who is it you’ll become?

Because the life you live has only just begun.

With intent you look ahead,
Searching with unease and dread;
The glowing horizon remains ever impartial
And what there lies in wait?

But whispering gently in your ear,
The autumn wind tries to ease your fear:
On this day of endless dawn,
The sun will rise again.

The sun will rise, and we’ll see what happens then.

The trials that come may give you pause,
You may feel despair completely without cause;
But on such days you must remember:
You are not alone.

No matter what it is you face,
No matter what dreams you choose to chase,
Those who love you will be here by your side.
And this too, please don’t forget —

So little time has passed since then,
But I’m so glad we met.


For my friend E… Happy Birthday.

Entry #1 – From One Week to the Next…

Hi! Kohaku here. I hope everyone had a great week.

I wanted to give myself room to do more traditional blog posts and casually express my thoughts, so I think I’ll write an open journal entry every Sunday from now on. Well, I’ll try it for a little bit and see how I like it.

Today, I made oatmeal raisin cookies… I’m really into them right now. It’s strange, because I normally don’t like sweet foods or desserts or anything. This is the third time I’ve made this recipe, and I really think I should stop. I’m getting addicted to them…

Anyway, I was thinking about reorganizing the post categories and navigation menu on this blog. Right now most of the categories are general topics like music, but I also want to organize my writing by style – short stories, poetry, journal entries, longer works, etc. If I do both, it’ll probably be too cluttered. So I’ll have to think about it more and figure out which categories to cut.

Also, I was trying to start a longer story the other day, but I could barely get even the first paragraph out! I guess the idea hadn’t quite taken shape yet. I’ll try again.

My friend J is coming over tomorrow to play music with me. I haven’t seen her in a while. I think I’m blessed to have friends who will do this kind of thing. Most people don’t appreciate their friends enough… everyone, do something nice for a friend today. That’ll make me happy.

On that note, it’s my friend E’s birthday on Saturday, and I haven’t yet decided what to do for her. I have to do something. Don’t neglect your loved ones, especially on their birthdays – it’s a special day to celebrate their life and think about how much they’ve impacted yours. Make a meaningful present, throw a surprise party… at the very least, give them a call. What if something happens to them – or you – tomorrow? You’ll regret not spending enough time with them, right? Try to live without giving yourself a chance to feel regret. That’s important.

Because it’s too easy to lose someone you love… I always think about that when August is right around the corner.

Well, that’s all for now.

This week, practice showing love, and giving it. The world needs more of that. And, as always, take care of yourself.

KT